We are all born into this world with a so-called 'gut feeling' or 'intuition' that can guide us toward the most desired outcome or solution in any situation. Unfortunately, this true inner voice often fades as we grow older. In challenging situations where we may not know how to address them or when we receive mistaken, conditioned guidance from elders, we begin to push this inner wisdom away, disconnecting from our true guidance.
I learned at a very young age, that my Mom seemed to love my younger brother more than me. He was born when I was only three years old. Although my Mom genuinely loved both of us equally, I perceived her as being more attentive to him, which led me to believe that she only loved him. This perception fueled my separation from my true self. I began to 'shape-shift' in an attempt to gain her love again, but nothing seemed to work. She had to focus on breastfeeding my younger brother, which frustrated me immensely. I would throw tantrums, banging my arms and legs on the floor. My Mom was so concerned that she took me to the doctor. Back then, the doctor prescribed a swat on my bum to calm my rage quickly. So, not only did I believe that my Mom loved my brother more (remember, this is solely my subjective experience), but I also associated this with physical punishment. That's when my connection with my true self, my 'gut,' was shattered.
As I grew older, many other situations further ingrained the belief that I couldn't be myself because I was unlovable. Today, I've learned how to recognize my wounded parts and how to heal them. Without reconnecting with my 'gut' or my Highest Self, I would likely have struggled with depression, anxiety, and work-related issues, not to mention achieving my dreams and being my authentic self.
I still occasionally need to revisit my younger self to reassure her that she's cared for, and that I love her unconditionally. Life unfolds various stories, some of which can be challenging. The question is, how will you choose to act or maybe even worse, react?
From this place, I would like to invite you to take a courageous step and confront your past with self-compassion, dissolving any lingering hurts. Without this crucial step, clear direction and unwavering certainty in the voice of your inner wisdom, gut feeling, intuition, and Highest Self may remain elusive.
Many blessings
Żania
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